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Jon without Kate, but they still have eight
By Melanie Wilkinson
I’m going to reiterate one of the Wilkinson household sayings – “somebody needs a spankin’ and a nap.”
And this time, the badly-behaving recipients are going to be the now infamous Jon and Kate.
We all know who they are, whether we watch their television show, “Jon and Kate Plus Eight,” or not. It’s impossible not to know — seeing how mainstream “news channels” are constantly berating us with the status of the Gosselins’ marriage. You can’t walk through a grocery store check-out line without seeing their faces plastered on the covers of every tabloid and even “credible” periodicals.
Jon and Kate. The couple who became famous after several television specials aired about their life. They were the young couple who had a set of twins and then after the use of fertility treatments gave birth to six more children.
America watched with fascination, as we always do when it comes to people living amidst the daunting task of raising multiples.
The ratings were so high, network executives approached the couple about having their own reality series. Hence, the iconic and voyeuristic pastime of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” was born.
And now, it may just be the blaring lights of those cameras that created a situation where there’s no more Jon and Kate . . . but remember, they still have eight.
These two obviously were initially sucked in by the ability to make extra money to support their large and demanding family. But when the book deals and appearances started rolling in, along with extended season contracts . . . it appears their personal perception of their new-found “celebrity status” was no longer about the kids, but rather themselves.
Jon, apparently in the middle of a raging mid-life crisis, began taking to the nightlife with young women. Kate, apparently in the middle of a look-at-me syndrome, decided she needed a body guard and started spending the kids’ college fund on elaborate trips, makeovers and hair designs.
At the end of the day, America found the couple sitting on the couch like usual . . . but this time, not together. Not even at far ends. Not even remotely friends.
Fortunately, the kids are probably young enough that they don’t realize the extent of the media frenzy over the demise of their parents’ marriage. But they still have to live and grow up with the fact that their family is no longer the same.
Why do Jon and Kate need a spankin’ and a nap? Oh, let me list the ways.
First of all, hadn’t they noticed that the majority of couples who were willing to put themselves under the reality-television microscope ended up in disaster? Examples? Hulk and Linda Hogan. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler. Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro. Danny and Gretchen Bonaduce. Hugh Hefner and . . . well . . . Holly, Bridget and Kendra (sorry, bad example). Bret Michaels and . . . well . . . Jess, Amber and Taya (my apologies, an even worse example).
They should have realized that putting themselves in a 24-hour fishbowl was going to put their marriage in jeopardy – and ultimately their eight children, for which (by the way) they went to great lengths to bring into this world.
Tuesday, on “Good Morning America” (of all places), they showed Kate saying that “parents of multiples have a high rate of divorce.” Then why on earth would they chance raising the level of risk?
My parents did not have sets of twins or triplets or sextuplets. But they certainly had multiples, with seven children in a 12-year time frame. I remember many moments in which raising all of us created a lot of stress and frustration – with each other as well as us. Sure, there were arguments. Sure, there was tension. But at the end of their day, there was always a quick kiss or a hug in the kitchen or the milk barn, signifying that the rocky ride had ended because the bigger picture was much more important.
Then again, the only camera in our house was an old Polaroid that had been dropped on the cement a thousand times. At least we all had the benefit of wiping away the tears or stopping fighting before the pictures were taken, portraying only happiness.
Maybe Kate should have stuck to fluffing up the laundry, rather than the back of her hair.
Maybe Jon should have just drove the mini-van to the park, instead of the sports car to the bar.
Maybe Kate should have stopped putting Jon down in the toy store.
And maybe Jon should have stood up for himself a little more or taken additional responsibility.
Whose fault is all this? To be quite frank, maybe we all share in the blame because this situation stems from our insatiable need to watch other people’s lives, like visitors to a zoo.
So, now, after all the exclusive interviews and never-before-seen footage, there’s still eight children in that media cage, with the two most important people in their lives jumping into the spotlight, trying to beat the other to the next punch. Or to sign the next contract that may come their way.
Maybe Jon and Kate need the spankin’ and a nap.
Maybe the networks need the spankin’ and a nap.
Maybe we, the watchers, need the spankin’ and a nap.
Regardless of who bends over or goes to sleep, the reality remains the same.
There’s no more Jon and Kate, but there’s still eight. Unfortunately, I speculate that the spankin’ and the nap will go to the eight – even though they had nothing to do with any of this, except to merely exist.
And this time, the badly-behaving recipients are going to be the now infamous Jon and Kate.
We all know who they are, whether we watch their television show, “Jon and Kate Plus Eight,” or not. It’s impossible not to know — seeing how mainstream “news channels” are constantly berating us with the status of the Gosselins’ marriage. You can’t walk through a grocery store check-out line without seeing their faces plastered on the covers of every tabloid and even “credible” periodicals.
Jon and Kate. The couple who became famous after several television specials aired about their life. They were the young couple who had a set of twins and then after the use of fertility treatments gave birth to six more children.
America watched with fascination, as we always do when it comes to people living amidst the daunting task of raising multiples.
The ratings were so high, network executives approached the couple about having their own reality series. Hence, the iconic and voyeuristic pastime of “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” was born.
And now, it may just be the blaring lights of those cameras that created a situation where there’s no more Jon and Kate . . . but remember, they still have eight.
These two obviously were initially sucked in by the ability to make extra money to support their large and demanding family. But when the book deals and appearances started rolling in, along with extended season contracts . . . it appears their personal perception of their new-found “celebrity status” was no longer about the kids, but rather themselves.
Jon, apparently in the middle of a raging mid-life crisis, began taking to the nightlife with young women. Kate, apparently in the middle of a look-at-me syndrome, decided she needed a body guard and started spending the kids’ college fund on elaborate trips, makeovers and hair designs.
At the end of the day, America found the couple sitting on the couch like usual . . . but this time, not together. Not even at far ends. Not even remotely friends.
Fortunately, the kids are probably young enough that they don’t realize the extent of the media frenzy over the demise of their parents’ marriage. But they still have to live and grow up with the fact that their family is no longer the same.
Why do Jon and Kate need a spankin’ and a nap? Oh, let me list the ways.
First of all, hadn’t they noticed that the majority of couples who were willing to put themselves under the reality-television microscope ended up in disaster? Examples? Hulk and Linda Hogan. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler. Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro. Danny and Gretchen Bonaduce. Hugh Hefner and . . . well . . . Holly, Bridget and Kendra (sorry, bad example). Bret Michaels and . . . well . . . Jess, Amber and Taya (my apologies, an even worse example).
They should have realized that putting themselves in a 24-hour fishbowl was going to put their marriage in jeopardy – and ultimately their eight children, for which (by the way) they went to great lengths to bring into this world.
Tuesday, on “Good Morning America” (of all places), they showed Kate saying that “parents of multiples have a high rate of divorce.” Then why on earth would they chance raising the level of risk?
My parents did not have sets of twins or triplets or sextuplets. But they certainly had multiples, with seven children in a 12-year time frame. I remember many moments in which raising all of us created a lot of stress and frustration – with each other as well as us. Sure, there were arguments. Sure, there was tension. But at the end of their day, there was always a quick kiss or a hug in the kitchen or the milk barn, signifying that the rocky ride had ended because the bigger picture was much more important.
Then again, the only camera in our house was an old Polaroid that had been dropped on the cement a thousand times. At least we all had the benefit of wiping away the tears or stopping fighting before the pictures were taken, portraying only happiness.
Maybe Kate should have stuck to fluffing up the laundry, rather than the back of her hair.
Maybe Jon should have just drove the mini-van to the park, instead of the sports car to the bar.
Maybe Kate should have stopped putting Jon down in the toy store.
And maybe Jon should have stood up for himself a little more or taken additional responsibility.
Whose fault is all this? To be quite frank, maybe we all share in the blame because this situation stems from our insatiable need to watch other people’s lives, like visitors to a zoo.
So, now, after all the exclusive interviews and never-before-seen footage, there’s still eight children in that media cage, with the two most important people in their lives jumping into the spotlight, trying to beat the other to the next punch. Or to sign the next contract that may come their way.
Maybe Jon and Kate need the spankin’ and a nap.
Maybe the networks need the spankin’ and a nap.
Maybe we, the watchers, need the spankin’ and a nap.
Regardless of who bends over or goes to sleep, the reality remains the same.
There’s no more Jon and Kate, but there’s still eight. Unfortunately, I speculate that the spankin’ and the nap will go to the eight – even though they had nothing to do with any of this, except to merely exist.
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